why did Sarah fall off the swing.... she had no arms.....what did aaah get for Christmas ?? I dunno, she hasn't opened it yet... knock knock... *whos there*.............NOT SARAH
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
Why did 1 break the door open? 2 3 4
Q.what's the best way to eat a squirrel A.open up its little legs
Last halloween i went dressed as a woman. When i rang the doorbell an elderly woman opened and i made grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands. She immediately called the police and told them excactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First he asked are your parents here and i said nothing. Concerned by my answer he then asked if i was ok so i said nothing. He asked me what my name and i responded, "Hellen Keller.
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow moving business.
Why was it cold in Stephen hawkings house? - Because he had a new window open...
😂👌🏻
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging- think the opening line goes something like “they see me rolling, they hating”
A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?
A Mexican opens a pharmacy in CA. What’s he selling?
Drugs
how does a blonde turn off the light after having sex? She opens the car door.
I opened a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof
What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? We dunno she ain't opened it yet
Why is there no open hunting season on hippies ????
Have you ever tried to clean one ?
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. -- I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, "Holy shit, you're so drunk, you can't even walk!"
The drunk says, "No shit, that's why I took my car!"
An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore. The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.
