Not having jokes
That moment when you realize you do not have a joke and someone ends up laughing at what you still wrote anyway.
What does an orphan not have in common with a criminal?
Criminals are wanted.
Why did I f*** my dad?
So I could have s€x without my mom finding out. Should I not have done that?
For a while, lead was used in pencils, but... we realised that it might not have been the smartest idea because it lead (badoom ching) to some people getting lead poisoning.
Why did the orphan jump into the burning building?
It was too cold because they did not have a home.
I've got something better for all of you. I may not have found it, but Google "hottest sexiest women ever." Then you'll want them!
So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.
That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.
True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.
Once Jimmy was minding his own business, then he hears his mom come home. He asked, "Where have you been?" She replied with, "I was at work," yet he knew his mom did not have work. So the next day, while heading to school, he gets a phone call saying his mom is pregnant, and they want to try their device, and they need the baby's dad to say if it's alright.
Why can’t Sally hang herself?
She does not have arms.
Why did the skeleton not cross the road?
Because it did not have the guts.
Why did the orphan chase the family? Because he was jealous that he did not have a family.
Me: Imagine not having hair.
Kids: On chemo.
Bitch the fuck.
Friend: Do you think she likes me?
Me: Yah.
Friend: Really😀😀😀?
Me: Hell no.
Friend: 😥😓😫😭😭😭😭😭😭 You did not have to be so honest.
Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*
Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?
Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.
What is something an orphan's phone does not have?
Home buttons.
Why do orphans not have a home? Because they don’t have a family.
Son, why do I not have an Easter basket?
Mom, you're 23, you don't need one. Ends calls, child support.
Why do orphans not have parents?
Answer: Their parents are yeet dead dead.
Son: Daddy?
Dad: Why tf do you keep calling me daddy? You're 11 years old, feminine gay hoe.
Son: Whoa!? Daddy, what's that?
Dad: Wtf are you talking about?
Son: Your dick has gotten more tastier?
Son: Ooh... I..... Just.... Wanna.... Sssuuc
Dad: Oh nope, I'm not having a gay hoe's fiend in my house, no quit looking at my dick, you need some pussy.
Son: eeeeeewwwwwwwwwww nooooo plz no plz
Dad: Shut the fuck up: ehr em
Mom: What the fugde is going on?
Dad: Our son's a gay bitch.
Mom: Language! So? I need to teach him how to like a girl huh?
Dad: Yes Ma'am, plz.
Mom: Okay. Herman, get your gay ass in my bed but naked, I'll be there in 10.
Son: wha whey huh ur gonna... wtf?!?!?!??
Mom: Quit cursing, I'm gonna fuck u extra hard!!
Son: Ewww, I'm gonna fuck my mom even though she is hot sexy but eeewwww.
Mom: Shut it!!!, or I'm gonna recordid and *fliped her hair taking off her panies (pussy naked)* and show this to ur gay fuck friends!
Son: Huh
Son: Mom FUCK U*
Mom: Okay baby I'm gonna fuck u in a minute lemme tak my bra off
Son: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH
Son: Moms are the worst, are they?
Me no there not sometimes but i love them teheheteheh