Not having

Not having jokes

Friend

    • My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.

    So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D

  • 0

    • Nun

    • Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can鈥檛 use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It鈥檚 not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."

  • 3

    • Picture

    • So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.

    That鈥檚 what I get for not having a password on my iPad.

    Condom

    • True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.

  • 1
    • Not having memes

    Mexico

    • Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.

  • 0

    • Swing

    • Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.

    Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.

    Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.

    Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.

  • 1

    • Abortion

    • Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!

  • 2

    • Sense

    • They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.

    It鈥檚 been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.

    Orphan

    • Why does an orphan always get the newest iPhone?

    Because so he does not have a home button.

    Night

    • Hi 馃憢 I love 馃挆 you walk in and out the door 馃毆 night. I did not have time today. I was just a little bit and I had to walk home from home after dinner. I

  • 0

    • Perfume

    • Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*

    Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You鈥檙e so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?

    Me: ... I鈥檓 aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.

  • 1

    • Property

    • It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.

    But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .

    Difference

    • What is the difference between a human and a tree and a house? Is for dinner today after school today after I have school 馃彨 I have for kids dinner 馃嵈 was that I had dinner 馃嵈 night night dinner 馃嵈 night is what time it when we went and get the dog 馃惗 night and dinner 馃嵈 night I love 馃挄 it is the one 鈽濓笍 I did not have time today.