Not having jokes
Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."
Why did the orphan cry when he got back home?
Because he did not have one.
Why do you not have milk with your Oreos?
Daddy never came back with the milk.
I wish my lawn was emo, so I would not have to cut it, it would cut itself.
Imagine not having parents. Lol.
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.
It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
What do an orphan and an apple not have in common?
The apple actually gets picked.
I gave an orphan an iPhone XR because it does not have a home button.
Cops have the hardest job: they have to tell women they have the right to remain silent and know damn well she will not have the ability.
Why do orphans cry alone?
They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.
What does an orphan not have in common with criminals?
Criminals are wanted.
Did you know that..
Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.
Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.
What do orphans and apples not have in common? Apples get picked.
I don't see why Africans complain about not having water. They have free chocolate milk.
Imagine not having a dad.
What kind of cake can an orphan not have?
Homemade.
I did a walk today and had fun. Today, I did not have to go get my kids and get to my new house. 🏠 It was a good day. I had fun. I did a walk today. I had fun today, but I’m going to be at the car 🚘 when I’m at my car. 🚘 What time was your night time? What time did [you go to bed]?