The teacher says to do your homework. I do. my friends do. one person never does any of his homework.
eventually we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly commit suicide.
I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved...and shot her.
when the school lets you near children again...
Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".
What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They slow down near schoolzones.
A father and a son were painting pictures together, the son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T and the son said "what happened to your hand?" looking at the scar tissue near the father's knuckle, the father replied with "you know what happened, you were there." the son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings - they're exactly the same.
The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there's only one painting.
what do you call a bunch of people near each other
the start of the hollacoast
Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...
These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven hawkings
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience...
