Mugger jokes
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it got mugged.
Why do Jews suck at mugging?
Because all they ask for is the spare change in your pockets.
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.
"Muffin Man, Muffin Man, he's gonna rape you in his van."
When I aim this trigger, it all goes red.
Do you have a bounty 'cause you got a "M" on your head?
If a wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been muggled?
So Mungus.
I will mummyfry you!