Worst Jokes Ever

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tabs1528

A man wearing a white hard hat and sunglasses sits on a couch in front of a muted background. Text above and below the man provide context: "ADHDers that take on life without medication:" above and "Well, first of all, with caffeine and anger, all things are possible, so jot that down" below.

A Star Wars Fan

The image shows a cartoon representing different national teams as balls with their respective flags, each in their group for the EURO 2024. Each "countryball" expresses a different sentiment or makes a joke related to their football reputation or chances in the tournament. The text across the image shows dialog and commentary for each country.

Heroin Monkey

A Twitter post by Donald Trump with the text "Stock market hits another high with spirit and enthusiasm so positive. Jobs outlook looking very good! #MAGA" accompanied by a picture with two furry cartoon characters and the text "FEMBOYS RULE". This is followed by another Twitter post by Donald Trump replying to the first post "I am terribly sorry that is the wrong photo".

Heroin Monkey

A dog is looking at the camera in front of a field, with the text "OK BRO I TOUCHED GRASS" on top and "SO DO THE HOES JUST COME TO ME NATURALLY OR WHAT" on the bottom.

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of the video game Elden Ring, showing a character with the name "****er", due to the game censoring the word "butt". The full character name should be Butter.

Heroin Monkey

A four-panel comic strip shows a person fishing. In the first panel, a fish is on the hook, saying "Ow. This hurts so bad.". In the second panel, the person says "A talking fish! Will you grant my wish?". The third panel shows the fish saying, "I don't have any magic. I can retake Jerusalem tho." In the final panel, the person is replaced with a crusader helmet with the speech bubble saying "What a coincidence."

Heroin Monkey

Two pictures of trees with hollow areas filled with water are shown. The one on the left contains clearer water, while the one on the right looks more like a puddle filled with leaves. Below the images are the comments: "free soup," "you're going to be so, so cursed," and "free soup."

Heroin Monkey

A sailing ship at sea with the text "We're so back" above it. Underneath is a news snippet from CNN that reads, "Giant kites could pull cargo ships across the ocean - and slash their carbon emissions".

Heroin Monkey

The image shows two pictures. The first picture shows a train on a bridge in a mountainous area. There is text below it stating, "Switzerland's military has remained neutral since 1815, but the entire country is rigged to explode. Thousands of demolition points are wired into bridges, highways, and railroads across the nation so that everything can be destroyed if invaders attack". The second picture shows a man holding a belt with a worried expression. The text below the man states, "WHO'S THERE? I HAVE A BELT AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO HANG MYSELF".

rapboat

The image shows the album cover for Nas's "Ether" with the text overlay "Gay-Z and Cock-a-Fella Records". Below is a Twitter post that says, "So far. Kendrick said it's big me. Cole said sorry. And Drake said Kendrick got small feet. These the 'GOATS'. Light man."

rapboat

The image is a cartoon-style drawing featuring four characters. At the top, Eminem is depicted with spiky black hair and a serious expression, labeled with "Eminem" above his head. Below him and slightly to the left, Drake is drawn as a cartoon character with a straw hat, labeled as "Drake". Next to Drake is J Cole, also drawn as a cartoon with spiky hair, labeled as "J Cole". On the far right of the bottom, Kendrick is shown as a cartoon character with a headband, labeled as "Kendrick". They are all set against a green background with some trees.

DAP ME UP

Imagine being hated that much that no one wants you as mod

A screenshot of an online poll shows that 100% of the voters do not want "opal" to be a moderator.

Face mcshooty

A meme with a still from the TV show "Dexter". The text says: "When someone you don't fw starts yapping so you gotta look at them like this."

mal

The image shows two scenes of the same bathtub. In the first scene, a person is relaxing in the tub, saying, "I am so relaxed." In the second scene, a second person has appeared in the tub, wearing a witch hat, and says, "Surprise!" The first person is clearly shocked and asks, "Why is this happening?"

Anonymous

someone play with this kitten he looks so adorable

A close-up shot of a tabby kitten lying on its back on a plaid blanket. A finger gently pets its belly. The kitten has large blue eyes, cute whiskers, and soft fur.

Big daddy2.0

So true

An image of Nemo looking displeased. To the right is the text: "What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found."

Heroin Monkey

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Wade

Sounds amazing

A cartoon of Rick, from the "Rick and Morty" series, looks disoriented with blurred background of alcoholic bottles. The text in the image reads: "When the first 4 shots don't hit you so you take 3 more and then they all hit you at once."

Evil Duck Lords Of America

The image is a six-panel comic strip. In the first panel, a yellow duck stands alone, and the text reads, "There is no grim reaper." In the second panel, the same duck stands with the text, "There is only the duck of death." In the third panel, the duck is walking, and the text says, "At the end he waddles in and claims your soul." In the fourth panel, a Grim Reaper is next to text that reads, "We only made up the grim reaper so you wouldn't feel so stupid about being killed by a duck." In the fifth panel, the duck stands with the text "But it's really just going to be this cute." In the final panel, the same duck is pulling a person by their foot. The person is lying on the ground with the text, "Please don't be all angry about this. It's just the way it is."

Evil Duck Lords Of America

A photo of many ducklings swimming together in a pond. The text on the image says: "I don't have all, not even some, of my ducks in a row. But they're all in the same pond, so I have that going for me, which is cool."

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