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Marshmallow
4 days ago

This is my first name. I’m gonna take it down so watch it.

A screenshot from what appears to be the game Roblox, featuring a calico cat with its eyes closed as it is being sprayed in the face with a cartoon green spray bottle. In the upper right corner, a small notification window displays the name 'Hedgehog120215'. Various game UI elements like the Roblox menu icon and a jump button are visible on the screen.
  • 3
  • Heroin Monkey
    9 days ago
    A screenshot of a satirical YouTube mobile app interface. The top window shows a man in a suit (Dean Winters as the Allstate 'Mayhem' character) during an ad. Text overlays indicate 'Sponsored · 2 of 9,604 · 95:58:07'. Below, a notification card features a blue circle with a party popper icon and the text 'You won the ad lottery! This month, you'll watch only ads so 22,709 users can enjoy YouTube without ads.' Two buttons at the bottom read 'Invite a friend to help' and 'Oh, okay'.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    13 days ago
    A four-panel comic shows God talking to a group of dogs with wings and halos in heaven. He tells them he is sending them to Earth without wings so nobody suspects they are angels. The final panel shows a young girl hugging a golden retriever. Below the comic, a screenshot of a comment section shows a user named BumbleandBumble stating, "I saw an angel eat a child."
  • 0
  • Shitpost master-general
    29 days ago
    An image of basketball star LeBron James looking extremely focused and intense, surrounded by digital flames and sparks. He is holding a basketball. Overlaid text says: "POV: when the choir hit a high note and the glass dildo breaks in my a$$ so I gotta lock in and pretend like nothing happened".
  • 0
  • Shitpost master-general
    29 days ago
    A screenshot of a Reddit post from the subreddit r/playboicarti. The post is titled "I think everyone wishes humans had tails". The body of the post describes a hypothetical scenario at Walmart where a mom compliments someone's hair. The author suggests that if humans had tails, they would wag involuntarily, revealing excitement and causing embarrassment when the 'mom' notices.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    29 days ago
    A screenshot of a tweet from an account named Simon (@realsast). The tweet text says, "im so stupid i only now realized its called 9/11 because the two towers look like the number 11". The profile picture is a simple yellow face with a slight smile on a black background.
  • 0
  • dandys_world
    1 month ago

    real

    A five-row alignment chart categorizing various cartoon characters based on their relationship with the word "fuck". The rows are: "regularly says fuck" (showing 3 characters), "has sworn off saying fuck, but said it at some point" (showing 4 characters), "has not said fuck before, but can if so desired" (showing 5 characters), "has not said fuck before, and refuses to say it" (showing 5 characters), and "legally cannot say fuck" (showing 3 characters). The characters are colorful, stylized figures resembling food, objects, or creatures.
  • 0
  • United Kingdom UK
    1 month ago
    A chat interface showing a conversation where one user says "you so Butyfull sexsy". The other user replies "an attempt was made". The first user says "yes" then "sand photo". The other user responds with a photograph of a sand dune under a blue sky.
  • 0
  • Shitpost master-general
    1 month ago

    Women are so scary. Does anybody know what is wrong with them?

    A screenshot of a 4chan thread featuring two anonymous posts. The first post includes a picture of a woman with distinct split black and white hair and dark makeup, along with the text: "i hate that i'm attracted to mentally ill woman." The second post, a reply, simply states: "All women are mentally ill."
  • 0
  • Shitpost master-general
    1 month ago
    A screenshot of two 4chan posts. The top post features a greentext story and a picture of the anime character Cirno. The text claims the author used their own semen as a skincare product overnight and it cured their acne. The bottom post features a picture of Konata Izumi and a reply stating the user is going to try it, hoping it isn't a prank.
  • 3
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 month ago
    A meme featuring a screenshot of actor Brad Pitt from the movie 'Meet Joe Black'. He is smiling warmly and sincerely at a woman who has her back to the camera. The text overlay reads: 'Me GENUINELY telling my wife I got promoted to assistant manager at KFC so she can finally quit her job as a brain surgeon'.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 months ago
    A meme featuring actor Rami Malek, as the character Elliot Alderson from Mr. Robot, wearing a black hoodie and looking off to the side with a slight, confident smirk. The text above reads: "When someone says it stinks but you genuinely got a crisp 30 mins left on tha 72 hour deodorant so you know it ain't you".
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 months ago
    A man in a dark suit stands with his back to the viewer, observing a giant, segmented screen displaying a huge, close-up image of another man's face, who looks contemplative or concerned. The scene is reminiscent of high-level surveillance. The text overlay reads: "How it feels to secretly put a camera in bro's room so you lowk only text him when he's gooning."
  • 0
  • Shitpost master-general
    2 months ago
    A screenshot of a Reddit comment thread. The first user, Deathcu..., writes a chaotic, rambling paragraph about Charlie Parker only playing scales, interspersed with repetitive exclamations about loving cigarettes, heroin, and tobacco. The second user, BionicTorqueWrench, replies with a simple correction: "Bro, Parker played arpeggios."
  • 0
  • Shitpost master-general
    2 months ago

    A meme supreme

    A shopping cart is filled with three vinyl copies of John Coltrane's "A Love Supreme", a box of white Monster Energy drinks, and a bag of Chile Limón Doritos. A text box at the top says "I'm getting so fucked up tonight".
  • 0
  • Shitpost master-general
    2 months ago

    Soles

    A four-panel comic strip. In the first three panels, a woman and a man are hanging Christmas stockings over a fireplace. The woman questions the tradition, saying, "Stockings are kind of a weird concept. Like, who came up with it? Who thought pulling things out of socks would be so exciting?" In the fourth panel, Santa Claus is sitting at a desk, looking intently at a laptop screen which displays a grid of photos/video feeds showing various close-ups of bare feet. Santa says, "Hell yeah."
  • 0
  • Shitpost master-general
    2 months ago

    Merry eve of Christmas

    A lit green candle in a glass jar sits on a wooden surface. The text at the top of the image says "Men are so hard to shop for". The label on the candle reads "Cigarettes and Gasoline Candle" and includes simple line-art icons of a smoking cigarette and a jerrycan of gasoline.
  • 0
  • Shitpost master-general
    2 months ago
    A meme featuring an anime girl with pink hair in pigtails, identified as Kasane Teto, looking sad and crying. The text above her reads "when a nigga so retarded you just cry". A watermark @based teto is in the bottom left corner.
  • 0
  • Shitpost master-general
    2 months ago
    A four-panel rage comic. Panel 1 shows a simple stick figure arguing about WWII being 'based' to a Trollface who replies, 'you still think there was a war?'. Panel 2 features a screaming, wide-mouthed Trollface delivering a rant about Babylon, unreal wars, and genocide. Panel 3 shows a menacing, detailed Trollface asking conspiratorial questions about merchants, crosses, scientists, and disposing of bodies. Panel 4 features a highly distorted, demonic black Trollface head surrounded by a colorful Ouroboros (a dragon biting its tail), with the text: 'THE HEAD BITES THE TAIL, IN DEATH THEY ARE BORN.'
  • 0
  • Big Jim
    2 months ago

    They had to teach him a lesson

    A photo shows three police officers (two men and one woman) standing with a young boy on a sidewalk in a residential area. The boy is holding a pizza box. The text beneath the image describes a scenario where a 15-year-old misused 911 to order pizza. The police initially delivered the pizza to teach him a lesson, followed by the dark punchline: "Then shot him 20 times."
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