Right now memes

There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.

Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they're all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there's no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”

"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."

"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."