Longest memes

People say that life is short.

I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.

What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? "Smiles," because there is a mile between the first letter and the last.

An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee.

A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after a while and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in."