Worst Jokes Ever

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The Ugly Rat

This is my fake ex. Proof he fake

A young man with brown hair wearing a hoodie. Text at the bottom says "Pinterest Pin on Cute teenage boys".

mike69

The image is split into two panels. On the left, Shadow the Hedgehog is shown with a long list of text behind him, labeled "people who like shadow". On the right, Sonic the Hedgehog is shown with the text "He's nice" above him, labeled "people who like sonic".

Heroin Monkey

A person is holding a worm up to their nose as if they are going to snort it. The text says: "If God didn't want us to snort worms... He wouldn't have made them cylindrical!!! WORM SNORTING CLUB. Every Monday and Thursday! Location changes often!" The background is a colorful, psychedelic swirl pattern.

Tsukuyomi

A photo of a tablet on a table displaying a custom-made Pokemon card of Mr. Bean. The card lists his name, HP, and two attack abilities with descriptions and attack points.

Why should you care

Almost FRIDAY

The image is a three-panel scene from a movie. In the top panel, a woman with elaborate antlers says 'You can't defeat me' with the word 'Monday' above her. The middle panel shows a man smiling and saying 'I know, but he can' with the word 'Me' above him. The bottom panel shows an explosion with the word 'Friday' on it.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

Jorking my peniys

The image is a screenshot of a tweet by user @Xvstardust_. The tweet text reads: One time I was jorking mine peniys and... Well... Let's just say it got hard...

Anonymous

Shitpost-master general

The image is a three-panel comic. In the first panel, a doctor leans over a patient in a hospital bed and says, "PLEASE... If you can hear my voice..." In the second panel, another person says, "It's no use! He's in a deep coma!" In the third panel, someone says, "Wakey wakey eggs and bakey."

Anonymous

Goober cat

A three-panel image of a black cat. The first panel shows the cat with one normal eye and one large googly eye. The second panel shows the cat looking nervously at a hand reaching down to pet it. The third panel shows the cat looking cautiously around.

Heroin Monkey

A still image shows a close up of a gorilla's face against a black background with the text: "Bros face when he's in a coma, only able to blink, watching me stroke it in front of him."

♡𝓅𝒶𝓁

Sending this post to someone? It looks
better when you share it.
MacMiller
I wrote @ScHoolBoyQ album. I
can't keep it a secret anymore. I
wrote all the hooks and bridges.
3/18/14, 8:09 PM
6,340 RETWEETS 6,815 FAVORITES
ScHoolboy Q
@SchoolBoyQ
@MacMiller so your admitting u
use da N WORD???
3/18/14, 8:37 PM
+0
Share
He had the pass anyway. In inertia I swear he say
"all you niggas old news" hence the bleep. As
well In Shut the front door he says "I'm clearly a
Wigger" Yes that's right, with the hard R! I agree tho
man, Mac really was that (N)Wigga 8real.
173
9 Comments
13
[deleted] 14h
Pretty sure the bleep in inertia is Ariana or my ex or
my old bitch something like that but in reference to
her
Reply +8
MaclsLife OP 4h
Shit you may be right, but i like the idea of him
saying the N Word!!
-25

big [fire] balls

The image is composed of three panels. The top panel shows the back of a person with light hair, the middle panel shows a person covering their face with their hand, and the bottom panel shows Perry the Platypus from the cartoon Phineas and Ferb playing a game console. The text overlay says "Sometimes I'm not me" above the first panel, "Sometimes he controls me" above the second panel.

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a quote from Abraham Lincoln stating that the people should overthrow those who pervert the Constitution. Below the quote, there are comments about Abraham Lincoln and a discussion about the ability to pull buttcheeks apart and back together without using hands. The comment section shows usernames and time stamps.

Thoughtless

A screenshot of a series of tweets. The first tweet is from Santa Decides stating that Technoblade is on the nice list and Dream is on the naughty list. The second tweet by essaHQ mentions Technoblade's sword, the "orphan obliterator". The third tweet by milk says that the sword is the reason why he is on the nice list. The fourth tweet is by Vossl who says to bless Technoblade for reuniting the orphans with their parents.

Thoughtless

The image shows three panels. In the first panel, an airline employee tells a passenger "You're too late, sir." In the second panel, Gandalf is standing in an airport, saying, "A wizard is never late, nor is he..." In the third panel, the airline employee replies, "Look, pal. This is a fucking airport. Your plane's gone."

Thoughtless

A couple is lying in bed. The text on top reads: "Her: He's probably thinking about other women..." Underneath is written "Him: Who the hell is taking pictures of me and my wife in bed."

Heroin Monkey

A newspaper clipping with the headline "Nude Brit covered in poo fell from hotel balcony into café", followed by a news article describing a naked British tourist who fell through a café ceiling from his hotel balcony in Thailand.

DIANEE

cat

A grey kitten with sad eyes looks downward, with text above and below him. The text says, "When I meow my human says 'I know'" and "Sometimes I think he doesn't really know".

Unimportant Intelligence

Best president

The image shows a black and white photograph of Teddy Roosevelt. Above the picture there is text that says: "did you know? A man once pointed two guns at Teddy Roosevelt and insisted that he pour drinks for the entire bar. Teddy said, 'Well, if I've got to, I've got to,' then stood up, knocked the guy out with three punches, and took his guns away." The image also has a photo source and a website at the bottom: "PHOTO: WIKIMEDIACOMMONS" and "DIDYOUKNOWFACTS.COM".

Heroin Monkey

A dog runs fast on a green field. Text overlay says, "how I run to my bro on Valentine's Day (hopefully hes oiled up already)".

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of the video game Elden Ring, showing a character with the name "****er", due to the game censoring the word "butt". The full character name should be Butter.

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