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Heroin Monkey

The image shows a 3D render of Mario standing with his legs slightly apart. Text above his head reads: "I HAVE BURNING LIQUID DIARRHEA SHIT" and text below says "DRIPPING DOWN MY LEG".

Heroin Monkey

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧 𝐅𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬

Deck the halls with bowels of Holly, fa la la la la, la la la la.

A Star Trek character wearing a Santa hat is pictured with the quote: "I do not know who 'Holly' is, but the desire of her enemies to deck the halls with her bowels indicates that she must be a fierce warrior, indeed."