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POLITICS NOV 19, 2024 74 Views: 26,510
Republican Congressmen Worried
Trans Member Might Make Coke Orgies
Awkward
WASHINTON, D.C. - Multiple Republican senators and representatives
expressed worry that adding trans members to Congress would make
their monthly coke...

FEBRUARY
Saturday
Right, I know it's been a while since I wrote in this,
but a whole lot has happened so let me fill you in on
everything.
Manny Heffley is the personification of human sin. Do
you wanna know the reason he tried to get me killed?
DATS FOWR NAWT
TEACHING ME HOW
TWO TIE MY SHOES,
YOU FUCKING PLOOPY.
I'M ONWEE
THWEE, BUBBY!
HEWP ME TIE MY
GAWDDAYUM
SHOES.
So I punted that little shit into the wall..
I should have paid more attention to Miom though, because
she actually stuck by her word for once. She managed to
shoot me in both legs and break i
my.
fucking kneecaps.
11

DAD IS FUCKING DEAD. HE SHOT HIMSELF.
Rodrick and I heard a bang come from the basement, and
the first thing we see is DAD ON THE FLOOR WITH
A BULLET IN HIS FUCKING HEAD. When Mom
turned around, I tell she looked batshit crazy. She
was
you
holding a glock and looked like a fucking animal.
I'M GONNA
BREAK YOUR
FUCKING
LEGS GREG
WHAT THE
HELL?!
She then threatened us for answers for who told Dad,
and when I thought things couldn't get any i
BUBBY
DID IT!
worse...
HE had to fuck shit up.
10

The image shows a page from a diary with hand-written text and a small drawing of a person on a couch looking dejected.

It's like 5:00pm, and Mom is driving me home as we
speak. I can't fucking believe that my mother is a
whore. I witnessed my own mother pleasing another man
and I feel disgusting.
During the ride, we didn't speak to each other for
about 30 minutes. All of a sudden, Mom asked if I
could forget everything that happened today. I said I
would, but I knew that this hoe could not step another
foot into this household.
GREG, LISTEN.
HOW ABOUT
WE FORGET
ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED
TODAY?
YEAH, SURE.
WHATEVER.
@gabriel
She then asked me not to tell Dad about this. I said
I wouldn't, but you can't make a promise to a hoe who
breaks her wedding vows.

MOM WHAT
THE FUCK!?
HOLY SHIT,
IT'S GREG!
MOM was GIVING HER WHOLE HEAD to Mr.
Winsky, and Vice Principal Roy is FUCKING DEAD!
As soon as I walked in these fuckers immediately acted
like they weren't just fucking crawling over each other.
That filthy homewrecker Mr. Winsky sent Mom and told
her to take me home. Fucking delinquents.
I have to tell Dad that Mom is a whore somehow. This
bitch needs to be sent to the streets.
3

A black and white cartoon drawing depicting a text written in a diary, describing how Patty got a secret out, and then the person was sent to the vice principal's office. Then, the person heard a bouncing noise, laughter, and giggling, followed by two voices sounding like they were having sex in school. A drawing of a person standing in front of lockers is below the text. Another line of text says, "I opened the door, and oh boy, you'll be surprised about who I saw." A number "2" is at the bottom of the page.

Monday
DECEMBER
Today was fucking dreadful.
Me and the boys were just watching porn on the
school computers in computer science. Nothing harmful.
You know how it goes, though. There's always s
bitch across the room, just waiting, dying to ruin the
fun.
Some
WHAT
GREG IS WATCHING
PORNOGRAPHY, MR
JIZZLE!
"PANT
PANT
THE
ZFUCK?!
The next time I see
snitch is fucking dead.
Patty, I swear to god, that
1

A painting of an old man with a hat smoking a pipe. The text on the image says: "STOP BLAMING YOURSELF AND OTHERS. LEARN FENG SHUI & BLAME THE FURNITURE."

POV its late at night and your wife lickes her lips

A close-up image of a dog's face with its mouth open, teeth showing, and one eye squinting. The dog is looking to the side, and its expression appears mischievous.

A black and white picture shows a person with a tear running down their face. Above, there is the text: "When you order a book called 'How to scam people' and it still hasn't arrived after 3 months:"

Republicans were quick to admit however, that the 22nd Amendment was passed in a stolen election to remove FDR.

A news article with the headline: 4D Chess: Democrats Admit Trump Actually Won In 2020 And Is Now Unable To Serve Third Term. Below the headline is the text: POLITICS - Nov 7, 2024 - BabylonBee.com. Underneath is an image of several politicians standing at a podium with the US flag behind them. The woman at the podium is speaking.

The image shows a screenshot of an ad with the text "Are You Single? Wake up and Meet up Your Princess." below, and "WishDates" at the bottom with a play button and the link "Visit site". The background of the ad is a close-up of Nikocado Avocado.

The image consists of six panels arranged in a 2x3 grid. The top row shows Donald Trump giving a thumbs up and Kamala Harris clapping, with the text 'No matter which candidate you vote for.' Below them are images representing various problems: a person peeking through blinds representing government spying, a stealth bomber dropping bombs representing military actions, a man lighting a cigar with a dollar bill representing the rich getting richer, Uncle Sam laundering money representing tax fraud, police in riot gear representing police brutality, and a weight with the word 'debt' chained to a map of the US representing rising national debt. Text below each image describes each of these themes.

A newspaper clipping with the headline "Nude Brit covered in poo fell from hotel balcony into café", followed by a news article describing a naked British tourist who fell through a café ceiling from his hotel balcony in Thailand.

The image is a four-panel comic strip. In the first panel, a cartoon cat-like figure is holding mangoes, with the text "HEALTHY SNACK TIME. YUMMY mangoes! No better way to start your winter arc!" The cat has a Serbian flag on its head. A Trollface is superimposed on the panel. In the second panel, the same character is holding some still water packs with the text "-AND HERE is your still water!". The cat has a Serbian flag on its head again. A Trollface is superimposed on the panel. The third panel shows the lower half of another cat-like figure running and holding a bottle of PRIME and a LUNCHLY pizza box. Trollfaces are superimposed in the third and fourth panels. The bottom of the image includes the text "By Chesca & J Hause".

The image shows a text box above an image. The text says, "I fucked my hamster to death. Am I a psychopath? Basically I was fucking my hamster, like I usually do. But then I forgot to pull out. The hamster had cum leaking from its eyes and mouth. Then it exploded. I felt no remorse. Am I a psychopath?" Below is an image of a cartoon bear with an angry expression.

CrackedRuby_alt

💀

Patrick Star from SpongeBob SquarePants with a big water cooler on his head is the reaction image for the phrase "how I look at bro in the urinal when he says 'when there's rain there's thunder!' and fucking shits himself."

TaylorSwiftBoat

E
r/Eminem
u/Kangar... . C'mon Let Me Ride - Skylar Grey Ft. Eminem...
J cole had pictures of Eminem in his bedroom
growing up alongside shirtless posters of other
men in the rap game he loved. Real recognize
real
THE
126
♡
16
readytudie
13
i_suck_a_lot +1.3h alongside shirtless posters of ot...
Reasonable-Night-875 3h
Pac's nipples are visible in the poster. I wonder if Cole
ever pretend to breastfeed off him, and called it 'drinking
GOAT milk'.
Reply
59

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