Indicator jokes
There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”
Rapist: Rape doesn't hurt anybody.
Victim: (Implied response indicating the rapist is wrong)
How do you know when it’s bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
The big hand is on the little hand!
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa’s clock; the clock hasn’t moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where’s Trump’s clock?"
"Oh, we’re using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it’s so true.
How can you tell if you have a high sperm count? When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
How do you know when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
How to know if your wife is dead? Well, the sex is still trash, but the dishes really start to pile up.
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
How can you tell if your wife is dead? -- The sex is the same, but the dishes start piling up.
How do you tell when your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.