How to Commit Suicide jokes
A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."
This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.
A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian responds with, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back!"
if you ask an artist how to commit suicide, they will say a very creative way
Why don’t you get a book about how to commit suicide?
Because you won’t bring it back afterwards.
How to not exist: Kys.
Me, calls the police*
Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!
Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.
Me: Why, so you can then stop me?
Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!
Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!
Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!
Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?
If the noose breaks, stab yourself!
If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!
If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*
Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.
This guy walks into a library one day and asks the librarian for a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian says, "F*** no, you won’t return it!"