Hoarseness jokes

What did the horse say when his throat was sore?

I have a hoarse throat!

Why couldn't the horse give out a speech?

Option one: Horses can't speak at all.

Option two: His voice was a little *hoarse*.

Why did the pony have to gargle? Maybe because he was feeling a little hoarse.

"What do we want?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

"When do we want them?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas.

"I don't understand it, Doc," she said, "I have this terrible, terrible gas." "Thankfully," she added, "they are at least silent when I fart."

Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him.

The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. "I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!", she yelled.

The doctor said, "well, now that we've solved your hearing problem, let's see what we can do about that gas".

What did Freddie Mercury use to improve his hearing?

Hearing AIDS.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.

Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.