Happiest jokes

When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.

My happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my H.I.V. test without studying.

I'm at my happiest point in life. I'm dating someone that's autistic, and I was just saying I needed someone special in my life.

They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.

The happier they get, the less they see.

Teacher: Kids, what are some things you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friends to make me happy. Teacher: What about you, Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...

Being sad is my only happiness.

"What does the word 'gay' mean?" asked a son of his father.

"It means 'happy'," replied the father.

"Oh," contested the son, "so you are gay then?"

"No, son, I have a wife."

My teacher gave us an assignment, and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

I answered, "Happy."

The teacher said I didn't understand the test. I said to her that she didn't understand life.