Florist jokes

Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.

I think I'm being stalked.

A teenage guy is taking a girl to a dance. First, he goes to buy her flowers, but there’s a really long line at the florist. Finally, he buys them.

Then, he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a really long line for that, too. After a few hours, he gets the tux.

That night, he picks up the girl and they go to the school for the dance. There’s a long line to get in that goes halfway around the school. A while later, they finally get in. They dance and talk for a while, then the guy gets thirsty, so he goes over to the table to get punch. There is no punch line.

Roses are red, That much is true, But violets are purple, Not F***ing blue!

Roses are dead, violets are dead. I am a bad gardener.

At my funeral, take the bouquet off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next.

Roses are red, violets are fine, I'll be the six, you be the nine.

Trees are so social. They're always branching out.