DoS jokes
Why do mummies have trouble making friends?
What games do bats like to play at recess?
What do you read on Halloween?
If you're ever bored, just slap an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What do you get when you add 5 + 2 + 3 + 2 + 200 + 10?
Completely confuse you!
A man walks in to the doctor.
He says, "Doctor, I need a new butt. Mine has a crack in it."
Doctor: How many times do I have to tell you!!!
Once I told an abortion joke and this woman was like, "I've had an abortion, that's offensive." And I was like, "I just tell jokes, I think what you do is much worse."
What do kids play when they can't play with a phone?
Bored games.
An American goes on a British bus after being in war. He wants to sit down, so he goes to the back of the bus to sit down, but there is an old woman on the seat with her dog in the next one.
The man says, "Will you move your dog?"
The lady says, "Oh, you Americans are always so demanding," and she says to sit somewhere else. He goes through and finds no seats, so now he's at the back again. This time he throws the dog out the window and sits down.
The man in front says, "You Americans always do things wrong. First, you drive on the wrong side of the road, then hold you knife and fork wrong, and you threw the wrong bitch out the window!"
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged!
Do you know how a dragon is? You don't know who? It's dragging these 2-liter balls across your pathetic face and slamming it into a f*cking dumpster you regret.
I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."
Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?
A) Robert Drowney Jr.
I will never forget my grandfather's last words: โThe fuck you doing with that knife?โ
What did the people do to the deceased after tests?
They bari-um.
Biden: Shut up, Trump, disrespectful!
President: You are the one with the inappropriate hair touching, bro. ๐๐๐๐๐๐
Biden: -laughs hard because sloppy Joe can't do anything.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
When I was little, I used to think that the people in cartoons were real people...until I turned 7. I realized that it was just people doing voices. Sad, isn't it?
Why can't Chinese do anything? The government won't let them.
A teacher asked his students a math question.
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"
After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.
"One dollar!" she said.