DoS jokes
Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?
A knife has a point.
"Yol, what do you think about sex?"
"Good."
What do you think about the game "Fortnite?"
Shit.
What do you call a rich Chinese man?
Cha-ching!
What do you call a selfie of an orphan?
A family photo.
What do you call an anorexic blond with a yeast infection?
... A quarter pounder with cheese.
Why do your orphans not drink beer?
Because last time they did, he went to suck some dudes' toes, then he tried to take him to his parents, but I guess that never happened.
Why didn't the orphan do the work?
Because when the teacher says they would call your mum or dad, there's nobody to call.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
What do you call a porn star that always goes back for more?
Craven Morehead.
What do bees make milk from?
Boobees.
Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?
Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?
What do you call it when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
What do you call a rabbit with a crooked dick?
Fucks funny.
FIRST DATE
Man: "I work with animals every day." Woman: "Oh, how sweet! What is it that you do?" Man: "I'm a butcher..."
What do you call a dwarf that fell into a cement mixer?
A wee hard man.
Why can orphans get away with being bad at school?
They do not have parents to bring to parent/teacher conferences.
Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.
Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?
They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"
What do you call a one-legged Asian?
Tie Won Shoo.