New DoS Jokes - Page 109 - Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a group of emos?

A cutting board.

What do you call one orphan taking a photo?

A family photo.

James Bond: Vodka martini.

Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.

James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?

What do you call a group of emos?

The Suicide Squad.

What do you call a group of emos? The suicide squad.

Depression sucks, and so do you.

Or is she asking her son, "Do you know Newton?"

The boy said, "No, I don't know."

She said to him, "If you had paid attention to your lessons, you would have known him!"

The boy said, "Ok, do you know Ikhlod?"

She said to him, "No, who is she?"

He said to her, "If you had paid attention to your husband, you would have known her."

The important thing is that the boy is currently a week with his uncles and a week with his turbans.

Jesus and Moses come back to Earth.

Moses says, "Let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before." So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before.

Jesus quips, "Close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last." So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him. Moses says, "Hey, it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before."

When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.

What does Michael Jackson do with his meat? "Just beat it". His song btw lol.

What to do when you're bored? Punch an orphan in the face. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

How do Chinese people name their babies?

They chuck a pan down the stairs.

What do you call a shocked Chinese man?

"Hu le fuk!"

What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.

When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their mummy?

I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?

A boner.

What do a black and a tornado have in common?

They both wreck neighborhoods.

Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.

Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.