DoS jokes
What do you call someone with no nose and no body?
Nobody knows.
Why do cats leave scratches on arms? They don't; I do it myself.
A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".
So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"
What do you call a gay kid on fire? LGBBQ.
Do you know who Dee is?
Dees nuts!
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?
A baked potato.
What do you call Snoop Dogg’s giant turd?
Poop Logg.
I will always remember my grandma's last words: "What are you doing with that pillow?"
Why do people love dating orphans?
Because they're always home alone.
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Sum Ting Wong.
Why do orphans hate health ed at school?
Their parents can't opt them out of it.
Q: What kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip.
I made that one up.
What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?
Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.
Did you guys know that Chancellor Palpatine is suing Nike?
Apparently, the company stole his slogan: Just "Do It."
How do you cut your grass without a lawn mower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.
Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.
How do you cut your grass without a lawnmower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.
Why was the soldier reading the Geneva convention?
To-do list.
What do you call an emo that crossed a road? Roadkill.