Domestic Animal Jokes

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.

I had sex with my dog once, and my cat hissed at me for not doing her.

What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?

"I love eating cat."

A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."

What's the difference between an onion and a baby? I only tear up cutting the onion.

Do you know the teacher that went up into space?

You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."

My cat's breath smells like cat food.

What sound do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?

Meow.

I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.

And then I noticed that my cat was missing.

Can a cook and clean for real? No, I do not want no rabbit hare in my house.

I like cats.

I had a dog with an eating disorder.

He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.

Mom: There is so much of the dog's dirty ball marks.

Me: *umm ohh no* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dirty balls!

What did the squirrel say to the dog?

"There are nuts in your poop. I found them!"

I did a good walk and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and people live in the house with my dog. I had to a dog and.

What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.

Why did the baby cross the road?

Because it was stapled to a chicken.

What is a dog?

A pet.

That moment when you have to ask your Chinese neighbor if he's seen your cat.

How do you pet a psychopath's cat?

You get it out of the microwave.