Do jokes
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.
What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?
Beef strokin' off.
Where do orphans shop? Home Depot.
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost.
So as they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun." And the man from New York said, "Bring me a gun as well!"
The guy was confused but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For the France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started shooting and laughing like a mad man and said. 3 men lived through this and one said to the others, "Well...sh!# that didn't go as planned."
If you're pan, all you have to do is get a sibling and make them get your parents to the outside of the pantry, and you burst out and then say you're pansexual!
I hate it when people think I'm a boy because I have short hair. I mean, I'm gay, what do you expect?
What do you get if you talk to a Down syndrome person face to face at close distance?
Soaked...
I wasn’t understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said, “Let me break it down for you like the Twin Towers.”
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
How do you get 100 dead babies into a tub? Put them in the blender.
How do you get them out of the tub? Give mexicans tortilla chips and tell them theres salsa in the tub.
What do you call a circus show? A school shooter.
What do you call a dog without legs?
Nothing, it won't come either way.
Do you know Warrior Cats?
I heard Hawkfrost is cold.
What do you call a man shopping? A half-grown carton of cheese.
What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?
De-calf-inated.
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
What do you say to your partner with diabetes?
Hey, sugar!
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"
"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"
"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx