Do jokes
What do you call a deer with good eyes?
Good ideas.
What do Princess Diana and the Beatles have in common?
They both made quite an impact in Europe.
How do you call a Goth with feelings?
Emomotional.
Hey, if you've watched Twilight with Edward, Bella, and Jacob, then here's something for you.
Do you think Bella should have gotten with Jacob? I think she should have, ngl.
What do orphans and police not have in common?
The police can actually go home.
Q: What do you call 9/11? A: Enemy persion airstrike.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.
What do the Twin Towers and a bad joke have in common? They never land well.
Why do orphans eat cereal with milk?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a car on the side of the road, lit up and ablaze?
Paul Walker's death.
If you’re bored, go punch an orphan. What are the parents gonna do?
What do you call somebody in America that is smart?
An immigrant.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
Why do people always bully orphans?
'Cause what can they do? Tell their parents?
What did Elon Musk do after sacking half of Twitter employees?
Raped an eight-year-old girl.
What do you call a person with no body or a nose?
Nobody knows.
Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?
Me: 'Cause God made you.
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?