Disney Land jokes

Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?

Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"

What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?

They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.

Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.

Kid: Ok.

*Bring kid to the orphanage*.

Mickey and Minnie are getting a divorce. The divorce lawyer says to Mickey: "Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie because she is crazy," to which Mickey responds: "I'm not divorcing her because she's crazy, I'm divorcing her because she's f**king Goofy."

During a phone call:

"Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"

"Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."

Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

To find Pluto.

Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.

Why was Wacko Jacko willing to write a song for the film Free Willy?

He thought that the film's title was a nice phrase to yell out in primary school playgrounds.