Disney Land jokes
Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?
Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.
Kid: Ok.
*Bring kid to the orphanage*.
Mickey and Minnie are getting a divorce. The divorce lawyer says to Mickey: "Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie because she is crazy," to which Mickey responds: "I'm not divorcing her because she's crazy, I'm divorcing her because she's f**king Goofy."
Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
To find Pluto.
Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.
The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!
During a phone call:
"Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"
"Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."