Coverage jokes

Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?

Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.

What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?

Death.

The media's relationship with Hillary is just like Bill's relationship with Hillary. The relationship is unwanted and forced, and they'll move on to the next person any chance they get.

Yo mama so fat even Nationwide can't be on her side.

Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"

Like if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband, or wife, or a crush.

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.

Only in Ohio.

Is Gwen still on this app thing?