Conflict resolution jokes

How do you tell the difference between a Palestinian elementary school and a terrorist training camp?

Answer... I don't know, I just fly the drone.

My roommate's diary says I have boundary issues.

I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone...

When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.

No, I don't want to fight, so I shall kill you (so we won't fight)!

Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.

Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

So my dad said to me and my sister, "Don't fight," but did he mean "fist fight" or "yelling fight?"

My sister's boyfriend is mad at me because I fucked his girl.

The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.