Two

Two Community

GENESIS 45 Joseph Makes Himself Known 1Then Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, “Have everyone leave my presence!” So there was no one with Joseph when he made himself known to his brothers. 2And he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard him, and Pharaoh’s household heard about it. 3Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph! Is my father still living?” But his brothers… Read more

-A FUNNY STORY-

Do you know the funny and strange story of a woman who burned a frozen rabbit? No? Then read this. Have fun. And don't forget to comment if you liked the story or not. Please don`t write mean comments if you don`t like it. What's your opinion on the story? . . .

"This jar is full of stupid worthless things, but they’re worth something to me” - Miranda Harcourt.

On a clear, but cold Wellington after… Read more

GENESIS 44 A Silver Cup in a Sack 1Now Joseph gave these instructions to the steward of his house: “Fill the men’s sacks with as much food as they can carry, and put each man’s silver in the mouth of his sack. 2Then put my cup, the silver one, in the mouth of the youngest one’s sack, along with the silver for his grain.” And he did as Joseph said. 3As morning dawned, the men were sent on their way with their donkeys.… Read more

GENESIS 42 Joseph’s Brothers Go to Egypt 1When Jacob learned that there was grain for sale in Egypt, he said to his sons, “Why do you look at one another?” 2And he said, “Behold, I have heard that there is grain for sale in Egypt. Go down and buy grain for us there, that we may live and not die.” 3So ten of Joseph’s brothers went down to buy grain in Egypt. 4But Jacob did not send Benjamin, Joseph’s brother, with his… Read more

Mimi, you have two options to choose from before I delete every one of your posts and jokes.

Option 1: Admit you are alive and you lied about "committing suicide" and apologize for being such a retard.

Option 2: Leave immediately and never come back. If you decide to make a new account and fake that you're a "new person" I will know and I will delete the hell out of you.

GENESIS 41 Joseph Interprets Pharaoh’s Dreams 1After two whole years, Pharaoh dreamed that he was standing by the Nile, 2and behold, there came up out of the Nile seven cows, attractive and plump, and they fed in the reed grass. 3And behold, seven other cows, ugly and thin, came up out of the Nile after them, and stood by the other cows on the bank of the Nile. 4And the ugly, thin cows ate up the seven attractive, pl… Read more

GENESIS 40 Joseph Interprets Two Prisoners’ Dreams 1Some time after this, the cupbearer of the king of Egypt and his baker committed an offense against their lord the king of Egypt. 2And Pharaoh was angry with his two officers, the chief cupbearer and the chief baker, 3and he put them in custody in the house of the captain of the guard, in the prison where Joseph was confined. 4The captain of the guard appointed Jose… Read more

GENESIS 34 The Defiling of Dinah 1Now Dinah the daughter of Leah, whom she had borne to Jacob, went out to see the women of the land. 2And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, the prince of the land, saw her, he seized her and lay with her and humiliated her. 3And his soul was drawn to Dinah the daughter of Jacob. He loved the young woman and spoke tenderly to her. 4So Shechem spoke to his father Hamor, saying, … Read more

GENESIS 32 Jacob Prepares to Meet Esau 1Jacob also went on his way, and the angels of God met him. 2When Jacob saw them, he said, “This is the camp of God!” So he named that place Mahanaim. 3Jacob sent messengers ahead of him to his brother Esau in the land of Seir, the country of Edom. 4He instructed them: “This is what you are to say to my lord Esau: ‘Your servant Jacob says, I have been staying with Laban and hav… Read more

GENESIS 33 Jacob Meets Esau 1Jacob looked up and there was Esau, coming with his four hundred men; so he divided the children among Leah, Rachel and the two female servants. 2He put the female servants and their children in front, Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph in the rear. 3He himself went on ahead and bowed down to the ground seven times as he approached his brother. 4But Esau ran to meet Jacob a… Read more

GENESIS 31 Jacob Flees From Laban 1Jacob heard that Laban’s sons were saying, “Jacob has taken everything our father owned and has gained all this wealth from what belonged to our father.” 2And Jacob noticed that Laban’s attitude toward him was not what it had been. 3Then the Lord said to Jacob, “Go back to the land of your fathers and to your relatives, and I will be with you.” 4So Jacob sent word to Rachel and Leah… Read more

GENESIS 29 Jacob Arrives in Paddan Aram 1Then Jacob continued on his journey and came to the land of the eastern peoples. 2There he saw a well in the open country, with three flocks of sheep lying near it because the flocks were watered from that well. The stone over the mouth of the well was large. 3When all the flocks were gathered there, the shepherds would roll the stone away from the well’s mouth and water the s… Read more

GENESIS 27 Jacob 1And it came to pass, that when Isaac was old, and his eyes were dim, so that he could not see, he called Esau his eldest son, and said unto him, My son: and he said unto him, Behold, here am I. 2And he said, Behold now, I am old, I know not the day of my death: 3now therefore take, I pray thee, thy weapons, thy quiver and thy bow, and go out to the field, and take me some venison; 4and make me savou… Read more

GENESIS 25 The Death of Abraham 1Abraham had taken another wife, whose name was Keturah. 2She bore him Zimran, Jokshan, Medan, Midian, Ishbak and Shuah. 3Jokshan was the father of Sheba and Dedan; the descendants of Dedan were the Ashurites, the Letushites and the Leummites. 4The sons of Midian were Ephah, Epher, Hanok, Abida and Eldaah. All these were descendants of Keturah. 5Abraham left everything he owned to Isaa… Read more

Sixty-four people playing games and talking Black Hole threatens all of them 'Til a blue hand stops them Their name is Four, with X in tow Can they trust them? I don't know! They said, Don't you wanna battle for a prize? You could win a BFDI Eight teams of eight are made Get a basket and you'll be safe

Elimination time, it's Cake at Stake Pencil's out and taken away Where'd she go? Their jaws are slack Four brings d… Read more

GENESIS 24 Isaac and Rebekah 1Abraham was now very old, and the Lord had blessed him in every way. 2He said to the senior servant in his household, the one in charge of all that he had, “Put your hand under my thigh. 3I want you to swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, 4but will go to my country … Read more

GENESIS 21 The Birth of Isaac 1Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did for Sarah what he had promised. 2Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him. 3Abraham gave the name Isaac to the son Sarah bore him. 4When his son Isaac was eight days old, Abraham circumcised him, as God commanded him. 5Abraham was a hundred years old when his … Read more

GENESIS 22 Abraham Tested 1Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, “Abraham!” “Here I am,” he replied. 2Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom you love—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.” 3Early the next morning Abraham got up and loaded his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut … Read more