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You're so fat that when you got on the scales they said "I need your weight not your phone number" ​ ​ ​ You're so fat that an oragami crane has less folds than you. ​ ​ ​ You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat people shout out "taxi" ​ ​ ​ You're so fat, the photo I took of you last christmas is still printing.

You're so fat that when you want to iron your pants, you have to go out to your driveway. ​ … Read more

hey, @MU you might not see this, but I would VERY much appreciate it if you would stop spamming. It's really getting on my nerves, and you don't need to capitalize every goddamn word. Also, just, ya know, saying this right now while I have the chance. you may be in 4th grade, but because of that, I'm gonna let you off with a warning. If no one is on, PLEASE DONT SPAM. even if someone IS on, STILL don't spam. they may… Read more

Damn people sure are hating Ashton, I find that a but funny because I think he was actually worse before and has gotten better. It may be because I’m not in as much anymore but I haven't seen him hit on anybody since, well almost a year ago

What did you guys get for Christmas? I got some 2011 mint coins, some Nazi coins, 12 ounces of silver, a floating globe, a nice hunting knife, a toothbrush cleaner, a water pick flosser, snow pants that match my coat, a pair of gloves, a pair of heated gloves, a fake bow that connects to the tv to virtually hunt, a air pistol, a target block for my real bow, a headlamp, a coin holder book, a football table, and some chocolates. That’s everything I can think of.

All my friends are toxic, all ambitionless So rude and always negative I need new friends, but it's not that quick and easy Oh, I'm drowning, let me breathe I'm better off all by myself Though I'm feeling kinda empty without somebody else Oh, I hear you crying out for help But you never showed for me when I was ringing your cellphone Oh, you don't know how it feels to be alone Baby, oh, I'll make you know, I'll make … Read more

Idk why people call them depressive episodes at this point its a show and its like season whatever and i think its been going on too long and i hate the main character

𐋅𐌀𐌕𐌓𐌄𐌃 is a stupid underagef@g who thinks his retarded zoomer shit is scary but I bet if he saw a real mutilated corpse he would be scarred for months

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck… Read more

Boston State of mind by K!ller

Yeah, yeah Ayo, My girl, it's time. It's time, My girl (aight, My girl, begin). Straight out the sexy dungeons of rap.

The towel drops deep as does my handbag. I never drink, 'cause to drink is the Brother of drag. Beyond the walls of spoons, life is defined. I think of hope when I'm in a Boston state of mind.

Hope the drag got some lag. My tag don't like no dirty bag. Run up to the … Read more

i cant keep up with all the crushes so lemme get this straight. Kay likes Dagger, Pog likes Hi, Hi likes Pog, Oliva likes Dagger (I think) did I get this right

i'm fixing to make a story i gonna need everyone that want to be in the story (preferred) name and idk what else ill think of more question as i go on with the story :D

I'm a pedophile but to be honest is it really that bad i dont think so at the end of the day

I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. fucking damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realize Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid tiny fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god.

When you walk into a 7-Eleven you wouldn’t think it’s an $18 billion company."