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SHREK

Written by

William Steig & Ted Elliott

SHREK Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. … Read more

Shower Thoughts:

- Cheating in exams is just studying at the wrong time. - Parents are the opposite of fake friends. They have your back when you aren't there and talk shit about you to your face. - Technically, the biggest difference between surfing and snowboarding is just the temperature of the water. - If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie? - Does a straw have one hole or two? - Can you daydream at night? - When you’re alone in a room, you’re the only person in the world who can see what you can. - Millions of people are in synchronization with your breathing right now.

I'll tell y'all what happen kayla was hacked so she isn't a problem its Marleigh. Yes my mom did die and yes I was raped but I just wanted new friends because at my school its hard for me to make friends because people say I have to much energy or I focus on myself and don;t care for other people and when Marleigh told me to kill myself I was heart broken because I had an ex and he cheated on me and worte me death notes and sometimes I wonder if Marleigh is right because I don't know what to do anymore and my mom die last year btw and I was rape last year as well we just didn;t go to court for it.

C A S you are beautiful, you should NOT listen to Josh, he is a sad drug-addicticed bitch that doesn't have friends, but YOU have friends, right here on this website.

I'll solve equations with my right hand and write names with my left. I'll take a potato chip... and eat it!

Alright, I’m leaving, and I suggest everyone else should too. The hackers won’t do anything if nobody’s on. I doubt they’d stick around. I think a lot of people need a little break right now, so maybe take one. I’ll see you all in a bit.

GuYs im in class right now hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah ah h

Halloween is my favorite time of year because I can kidnap and mutilate those bloody children right off the streets and nobody will bat an eye. They'll just talk about what a funny stunt it was or tell me how impressive my "realistic" decoration is They'll never know the truth

Oki guys, heres a small recount of my school camp 😂😂😂😂

So, day 1, we went to do the high ropes and leap of faith stuff at Woodhouse. Then, that night I had no sleep. Why? THE BOYS WERE:

1, SUMMONING THE SPAGHETTI MAN (so scary, right?)

2. SCREAMING, YELLING AND MOANING ALL NIGHT.

3. DING DONG DITCHING US NON STOP.

4. HAVING A BLOODY MOTHERS MEETING IN THE HALLWAY AT 12 IN THE MORNING.

5. WALKING AROUND SINGING THE BLOODY PEPPA PIG SONG

AND 6. WALKING AROUND WITH THEIR SHOES MAKING THUMPING SOUNDS.

Day 2, much better day. We went kayaking and went to the beach to go boogie boarding. I had a much better sleep. Not much happened that day, and today was pretty good. 👌

To all of the people who have called me ugly:

Your opinion on my looks doesn't change my personality. I may be ugly, I may be a disgrace to look at, but I don't care. You're not the judge of what is beautiful, so fuck off. I know I'm ugly, and having so many people tell me this has made my self esteem image 100 times worse. So I hope you can all sleep well knowing that you ruined my image of myself.

And you're right. I am ugly.

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewers head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they… Read more

Okay guys, I did it. If you ever get bullied, here's the right thing to say, all of my reception and yr 1 teachers told me to do this, It always works-

Just say "Stop it, I don't like it!"

Matt, these idiots want to ban me because I have an opinion. And you're just in the background letting me take their stupid ass shit. The point of your website is to put funny offensive jokes, right? THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING! If you're an over sensitive 9 year old like Saddienotbaddie or Luasy4eva, don't go on a website like this. Go play with your Hot Wheels or your Barbies.

This is completely a waist of time, but worth it at the same time.

*Dad's sitting on the couch reading news paper when wife walks in*

Husband: "This music.. Is the final boss coming? Or worse.. It's my wife..."

Wife: "You jobless monkey... Money to pay bills doesn't grow on tree's"

Husband: "Well it's no my fault.. And I was born poor *Over it* If I was son of Bill Gates I'd bathe in money.."

Wife: "First go bat… Read more