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My sister told me that my girlfriend was no good I asked why since she’s been over in are house she has been acting weird around my boyfriend I Asked isn’t you boyfriend in college I said my girlfriend is only in 7th grade I say he would be dating a minor. My sister said oh ya I was one telling you that because you girlfriend is just not good. I told good to slow with. Then I walked out of the room. True story

I walks up to my girlfriend and says to her, β€œWant to play the firetruck game?” She says, β€œSure, how do you play it?” I says, β€œI place my finger at the bottom of your leg and run it up, and you say red light when you want me to stop.” She says yes, and I begin. I start to get close to reaching up her skirt, she says, β€œRed light!” I looks at her and I smile wickedly and says, β€œFiretrucks don’t stop for red lights.” She laughs as I start to rape her.

A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife." (Repost!)

. Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

a sister told her brother to walk to the store buy some candy watch movie with her while eating the candy (but he couldn't walk because he has no legs he couldn't buy candy because he has no arms he couldn't watch a movie because he was blind and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach who said he was real?)