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A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife." (Repost!)

. Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

a sister told her brother to walk to the store buy some candy watch movie with her while eating the candy (but he couldn't walk because he has no legs he couldn't buy candy because he has no arms he couldn't watch a movie because he was blind and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach who said he was real?)

Fruit of the elements I’m back it’s me Cacey pls forgive me we got caught on the app pls forgive me I still love u btw

bitch istg i saw the light today. so firstly i was in the mf principles office and she fucking sat on me and feed me 500 bigmacs and shit like that then she fucking brought my dad in AND WHEN I TELL U I KNEW THAT I WAS GOING TO GET MY ASS WOOPED. anyways so my dad LITERALLY started to try and fight with me but i just ignored his ass AND THEN her fatass was like "you are being disrespectful to ur dad", mind you I WAS … Read more