Thinking of ending stuff

No Lillian please

You deserve to live and see the future, your future will be great.

People suck…

And they always make fun of my personality and looks

Thats true, people do suck.

But what about the people who dont?

But there are so many People who are

And all I do is screw stuff up…..

no you dont.

Lillian, you are an amazing person.

dont let someone else make you think oterwise.

Then why do my parents always tell me I’m their least favorite and act like they hate me.

you deserve to live and see that one day youll find all the good you where hoping

becuaes some parents dont deserve their children

your the oldest, correcT?

because they hate themselves and push their hate on their children.

its not your fault lillian

i screwed up my life too. im still in the process of fixing it.

and im so proud of you for making it this far.

same here. so fucking what.

no one but mal really knows how much i hate myself sometimes

oh

i've said things about myself that ain't true

i've lied to myself that im worse than i really am

but that ain't true

there's no reason to beat yourself up about things you can't control

but we need to know what we can change, what we can change and how to spot the difference

and there are things we can't change directly

thats true..

You can't change the fact that you're addicted to something but you can change your behavior around the object of your addiction

You still have an addiction

you're just applying yourself in a different way where you don't fall to the addiction

ik..

then do it

im finally walking the walk. I don't just talk the talk

you can too

i have a really bad headache

nd feel like throwing up

Yea

sadly parents tend to be the worst to the oldest

get the the most of everything and nothing good

Ok.

Im sorry

but you need to live lilly

What if I don’t want to….

then youll be missing out on a lot

Then womp womp

Everyone would just move on really easy

But why don’t they do it to my siblings my dad spends hours telling me how I’m his least favorite and how he likes my siblings and friends better

Then your dads a dickhead.

I'll be hurt for years.

your my daughter lillian, i wouldnt be able to forgive myself if you died.

but thats not your fault or problem.

but you need to live

people love you.

Killing yourself is not a solution.

because they just gave themselves the habit of targetting you

that's why you gotta kill time by doin things that make you happy

(lmao that sounds corny)

(but actually its the best way to get rid of depression)

cosmo

i want to put myself into one of those phases

you want to but I don't want you to

im not going to

but i really want to

Ok but when it seems no one loves me why would I just take up space in the world

because people do love you

and youll meet others who will love you too

You have friends in here who care for you

These people don’t even know me tho..

so what

you're a friend of charlie's

that doesnt mean we dont care

True

Were all trying so hard for you to keep living

Yea..

I’m trying really hard to not fall harder into depression

i've gone into horrible depression

i've been near suicidal too

But I feel like I’m always in depression and I’m fighting myself everyday to not commit

i understand that

ive been there

but the best decision i ever made was to not do it

i've gone into severe depression swings

i was literally a foot away from kitchen knifes

im scared of myself

I have sissors in my hand rn… I want to do it but I don’t want to hurt people even if no one would csre

chuck the scissors away from you

lillian

put them down right fucking nwo

please.

don't contemplate it. just throw them away

lillian

i dont want to do this but istg if you tell me you did that i will call the cops.

ylour not far from me, so niether are they.

i need you to be safe

lillian respond now

i fucking love you so much

Please drop the scissors

lillian people care about you.

and people won't stop caring

I care about you, so much.

what?

I’m not gonna do it….

so put them in another room

Thank you.

Lillian we care about you.

Thank you guys I just can’t do it and threw them away

Like who else can i shit talk romans gf about?

emilys freinds with her.

he's got a gf????

who else has worn the most beatfuil dress that i littearly tripped on when running to and said im on my knees for you

hes and shes a fucking whore.

yes*

..................

and looks like a man

...............

NO THE DAY I MET HER IRL SHE WAS WEARING AND AMAZING DRESS

I RAN TO HER

TRIPPED ON HER DRESS

THEN SAID

"im on my knees for you bbg"

this was before she was my daughter

i was like running to her to give her a hug and tripped onto my knees

She is a man

that was littearly the best day of my life

omg ikr

like where are her tits

...

None existed

uh so you liked her until she started dating your brother?

no wtf

i tripped on lillians dress

ohhhhhh

No she liked me

BEFORE SHE WAS MY DAUGHERE

DAUGHTER

The dress was very long lol

SHE WAS MY DAUGHTER AFTER THE LIKING

I DINDT LIKE MY DAUGHTER

I even tripped on it lol

i dated one of romans gfs-

Wait, who????? Emily????

Genna.

emily never dated roman

OH YEAAAAAAA

GURL I FORGOT ABOUT THAT

no

cause when she was dating either landon or david i forgot, i kissed her.

......

genna not lilly

OMG I KISSED EMILY TOO

Oh yeaaa

I TRICKERD HER INTO KISSING ME

I TOLD HER TO KISS ME ON THE CHEEK THEN TURNED MY HEAD

UVE DATED EMILY SO MANY TIMES

OMG DONT REMIND ME

...........................................................................................

I MISS HER

CAN U CALL ON SMTH????

nrn :<

we can tmrw though if your on

um im scared

What time?

beofre lik 2 pm

Ok so like 9-10?

girl- ill be asleep them

Dang

around 12 or like 1

Oki

womp womp

how is that a womp womp

My friend is doing my makeup up

Hrlp

lmaoo

oh?

whos the freind

is it emily?

NEVERMIND IM TOTALLY FINE

i miss her

no it’s emma

idk that

Ik

ont tell emily how much i yap ab her

istg

K.

yu ok?

Sure

whats wrong

It’s just ur always talking about Emily and seems like u would rather talk to Emily…. And I mean that’s ok ig

bruh i can't go shooting plastic pellets with my friend cuz he just had a double barrel bloody nose for 45 min

id rather talk to you than emily, your my daughter, shes my ex that never worked out

im going to bed

goodnight

i love you my darling daughter <3

have fun with your freind

gn

ugh my music drives me crazy

israeli music is so fucking fire

I hope ur alr. Yur not worthless and u deserve a bright fucking future

yuppp

Thx ❤️

Your welcome. Just know ur loved!

ello

im bored asf

True

its low-key been a minute since we spoke fr