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Reached 10,000 Comments in Two Weeks

I've officially hit 10,000 comments within like 2 weeks of making this account. It's official folks, I am unemployed as FUCK

Comments (816)

laugh it up, I'm coming for your record muahaha

Anonymous

get rekt

no i dont consent

Anonymous

d

dick

no dick in wade

i forbid you

Anonymous

i

aweeee

this is too hard holy shit

EL IM WRITING SOMETHING HERE

Comment deleted by Anonymous

no yutting in wade jake.

wtv tf that means

mal♡

hey.

hey 😏💐🌹

yeah get flattered muahaha

i be very flattered

im gonna bring you so many flowers btw

you won't even know what to do with them all

i love flowers

gonna bring you a whole ass garden

cause you're so deserving of it

gosh damn it jake

you rlly know how to make me smile like a mfing idiot

smhsmhsmhsmh

mal♡

gosh damn it jake

im so gosh damn in love with you

GOSH FUCKIN DAMMIT JAKERS

and you are SO GOSH DAMN PERFECT.

MY JAW IS GONNA LOCK

GOOD CAUSE I LOVE SEEING YOU HAPPY

Anonymous

and you are SO GOSH DAMN PERFECT.

no you

mal♡

no you

weak comeback therefore I win

Anonymous

GOOD CAUSE I LOVE SEEING YOU HAPPY

WELL YOURE DOING A HELL OF A GOOD JOB AT IT

mal♡

WELL YOURE DOING A HELL OF A GOOD JOB AT IT

Good <3

Anonymous

weak comeback therefore I win

nonononono i refuse to surrender

i am DOMINANT MAL.

Anonymous

I love you <333

i love you too <33

I REFUSE TO SUBMIT

TO A SHORT MAN

ONLY 10 FEET TALL

YOU SHOULD BE TRIPLE MY HEIGHT

NOT ONLY DOUBLE.

mal♡

ONLY 10 FEET TALL

cough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough cough LIES cough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough cough

Anonymous

MY APOLOGIES

GROW 5 MORE FEET AND THEN WE CAN TALK.

Elsaaaaaaaaaaa

cough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough cough LIES cough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough cough

cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough truth cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough

i only fall in love with the tallest men

like JAKERS OVER THERE

GONNA GROW 5 FEET OVERNIGHT FOR ME

mal♡

cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough truth cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough

cough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough cough but hes 5'7 cough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough cough

Elsaaaaaaaaaaa

cough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough cough but hes 5'7 cough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough cough

cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough he'll be 15' by tomorrow morning cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough

mal♡

cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough he'll be 15' by tomorrow morning cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough

cough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough cough but he really wont cough cough coughcough cough coughvvcough cough coughcough cough cough

Anonymous

YES MA'AM

YES SUBMIT TO DOMINANT MAL.

Elsaaaaaaaaaaa

cough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough coughcough cough cough but he really wont cough cough coughcough cough coughvvcough cough coughcough cough cough

cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough he'll do anything for me cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough

mal♡

GOOD BOY.

you sound like wade

actually no eli calls me a good boy more than wade ever did

Anonymous

you sound like wade

😔

mal♡

cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough he'll do anything for me cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough

i ain even arguing anymore

mal♡

cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough he'll do anything for me cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough

Cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough yes I will cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough

you just dont know what kind of powers jake has

mal♡

you just dont know what kind of powers jake has

my powers are fabulous and secret

my only power is being a short king

guys should I lowkey just skip creative writing club today

it's in like 15 minutes but im too lazy to walk all the way there

plus I have hw and stuff

and my mom's coming this weekend so I won't have lots of time

idk up to you ml

and i went to the gym and ran on a a treadmill for an hur tut tut

mal♡

idk up to you ml

hmmmm

Elsaaaaaaaaaaa

lazy amerucans smh lol

hey jake isnt lazy

Elsaaaaaaaaaaa

lazy amerucans smh lol

I do 50 push ups every night didn't you say you can't do one

nonstop perfect form fully down btw

Anonymous

I do 50 push ups every night didn't you say you can't do one

coz i cant- but i can to biceps and treadmill speed 15

Anonymous

nonstop perfect form fully down btw

good job handsomeeeee

mal♡

good job handsomeeeee

im not a gym rat but ive been conditioned to do flawless push ups since childhood 😭

Elsaaaaaaaaaaa

i even pracice football

*soccer

Anonymous

im not a gym rat but ive been conditioned to do flawless push ups since childhood 😭

good jobbbbbbb :D

Elsaaaaaaaaaaa

football

soccer.

Anonymous

soccer.

football makes more sense

we use feet in football

we dont use socks to hit the balls

mal♡

good jobbbbbbb :D

not good job im only good at them because they were a form of punishment from my dad and I was a rowdy little bitch with a mouth so he would always add more 😭

Elsaaaaaaaaaaa

the FOOT comes in contact with the BALL

IT DOES IN ACTUAL FOOTBALL TOO

Anonymous

not good job im only good at them because they were a form of punishment from my dad and I was a rowdy little bitch with a mouth so he would always add more 😭

it is good job cus im proud of you for being awesome

WHY DO YOU THINK IT'S CALLED A KICKOFF?

Anonymous

IT DOES IN ACTUAL FOOTBALL TOO

but thats not what that sport is mainly abt

mal♡

it is good job cus im proud of you for being awesome

im not awesome I was just a disobediant child lmao

Anonymous

WHY DO YOU THINK IT'S CALLED A KICKOFF?

cus you kick the refs head off duh

Elsaaaaaaaaaaa

but thats not what that sport is mainly abt

OH REALLY?

Anonymous

im not awesome I was just a disobediant child lmao

but now youre awesome

in your HANDS

why isnt it called HANDBALL or OVALBALL or ARMBALL or HELMETBALL or BRAINDAMAGEBALL

mal♡

in your HANDS

WHAT IF YOU DON'T HAVE HANDS

Anonymous

WHAT IF YOU DON'T HAVE HANDS

THEN WHY AND WHY ARE YOU PLAYING FOOTBALL

Brits call it "football" because, historically, the term referred to any game played on foot rather than on horseback, distinguishing it from aristocratic sports. As different forms of these games developed in the mid-1800s, the sport involving kicking a ball was codified in 1863 by the Football Association, cementing "football" as its formal name. The term "soccer" originated in Britain as an informal abbreviation of "association football," but "football" remained the formal and more widely used term.

mal♡

THEN WHY AND WHY ARE YOU PLAYING FOOTBALL

BECAUSE YOU HAD A MOTHERFUCKING DREAM MAL

WELL I HAVE A DREAM

THAT ONE DAY HEIGHT WONT MATTER

THAT MY KIDS WONT BE BULLIED FOR BEING SHORT

CUS GENETICALLY THAT IS LIKELY

Americans call the sport "football" because their version of the game, a descendant of Rugby football, became more popular in the U.S. than its kicking-focused counterpart, association football (soccer). While the name "soccer" emerged from British slang for "association football," it stuck in the U.S. where "football" was already in use for the emerging, rugby-style game. The term "football" for this rugby-derived sport was officially established in the 1876 college football rulebook, solidifying its place in American sporting culture.

MY CHILDREN WILL NOT BE JUDGED BY THE COLOR OF THEIR SKIN

BUT BY THE CONTENT OF THEIR CHARACTER

mal♡

THAT MY KIDS WONT BE BULLIED FOR BEING SHORT

UNLESS THEY TAKE AFTER YOUR 10 FOOT TALL GENES

Anonymous

MY CHILDREN WILL NOT BE JUDGED BY THE COLOR OF THEIR SKIN

im judged for the colour of my skin im so fucking pale like why

mal♡

UNLESS THEY TAKE AFTER YOUR 10 FOOT TALL GENES

I HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU BUT MY 10 FOOT TALLNESS IS ACTUALLY THE RESULT OF A FREAK WOODCHIPPER ACCIDENT

i tan nicely its like one of the only things i like abt myself

Elsaaaaaaaaaaa

im judged for the colour of my skin im so fucking pale like why

i look like paper half the time and dont even get me started about when i look "pale" when im ill

Elsaaaaaaaaaaa

im judged for the colour of my skin im so fucking pale like why

haha cracker

Anonymous

I HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU BUT MY 10 FOOT TALLNESS IS ACTUALLY THE RESULT OF A FREAK WOODCHIPPER ACCIDENT

NOOOOO SO THEYLL BE SHORT????

mal♡

NOOOOO SO THEYLL BE SHORT????

oh they'll be worse than short, my parents are both classified midgets

we cant have any boys then

i want my children to have my crushes beautogul hair

Anonymous

why boys specifically

so theyre not like 3 feet tall men 😭

Elsaaaaaaaaaaa

i want my children to have my crushes beautogul hair

beautiful*

Elsaaaaaaaaaaa

i want my children to have my crushes beautogul hair

you're too young to be thinking about genetic procreation outcomes with another man

mal♡

so theyre not like 3 feet tall men 😭

lmao that sounds so funny though

they could be cast in snow white!

Anonymous

you're too young to be thinking about genetic procreation outcomes with another man

im not that fucking young youre acting like im 10 or some shit :(

Elsaaaaaaaaaaa

im not that fucking young youre acting like im 10 or some shit :(

calm down kiddo

you're talkin' to a full grown adult

respect your elders, overgrown fetus

jake the rage baiting goes crazy rn

mal♡

jake the rage baiting goes crazy rn

😭

Anonymous

you're too young to be thinking about genetic procreation outcomes with another man

we arent that old either 😭

we still got teen after our ages

ive acc had enough of being treated like a 10 year old, like i dont know anything

mal♡

we arent that old either 😭

I know lmao that's the ironic thing and why my SARCASTIC COMMENT is--well actually the one about procreation wasn't sarcastic

im fucking turning 14 in one more month than jakes turning 19

Elsaaaaaaaaaaa

ive acc had enough of being treated like a 10 year old, like i dont know anything

I'm sorry El, I will try to start treating you like the mature, knowledgable, experienced 13 year old you are.

Anonymous

I'm sorry El, I will try to start treating you like the mature, knowledgable, experienced 13 year old you are.

is that sarcastic?

I acknowledge that you certainly are all those things

Anonymous

I know lmao that's the ironic thing and why my SARCASTIC COMMENT is--well actually the one about procreation wasn't sarcastic

we babies talking about babies lmao

But for the record, there are varying degrees of maturity in that sense

I'm sorry if I came off as harsh in thinking that

So I'll try to start being more considerate

Comment deleted by Elsaaaaaaaaaaa
Comment deleted by Elsaaaaaaaaaaa
Comment deleted by Elsaaaaaaaaaaa
Comment deleted by Elsaaaaaaaaaaa
Comment deleted by Elsaaaaaaaaaaa

okkk gn queen

No it's alright, you made some good points

I'm sorry if I've treated you differently because of that, it's not very kind of me to do at all

It's perfectly okay to feel strongly about things like that, El

I don't see it as much of an overreaction, and if anything I was overstepping

i think its probably best if i take a break from site for like a few days or maybe a week coz i jsut need to step back. ive been on so much recently and im not feeling very well atm

Yeah do whatever works best for you, I hope everything ends up alright :)

𒀰 روحي إلها 𒀰

What a loser

jealous much?

this is your fault hahahaha

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

Anonymous

jealous much?

No, all your saying is “I’m in collage yet I spend a lot of my time on a online website full of teens”

𒀰 روحي إلها 𒀰

No, all your saying is “I’m in collage yet I spend a lot of my time on a online website full of teens”

*you're

mal♡

*college

I love you so much, gosh damn

gosh damnnnnn

were basically autocorrect

i wish my head was shaped like that

so gorgeous and unique

I'm caught up on my stuff

Lock in with your work at the university of northern texas

his brothers name is greg

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡

whos alt syphomney

Wade

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡

Jake , confirm that on instagram

he disappeared

a few min ago

youll see im being fr 🙄

mal♡

he disappeared

sorry im back lmao

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡

Jake , confirm that on instagram

LMAO YOU KNOW THIS

it's literally just the shortened version of alternativeSymphony

are we still bringing this up

prove it prove it prove it prove it prove it

Anonymous

check your dicksword

ofc youd call it that

mal♡

ofc youd call it that

I usually do, for humor purposes

mal♡

gay.

makes you a man

makes you a faker

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡

do u even have my discord added

idk don't you have to in order to send messages

pretending to be straight

mal♡

pretending to be straight

IM NOT PRETENDING

so edgy 🖤⛓

Anonymous

IM NOT PRETENDING

sure sure

🏳️‍🌈

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHS

IMAGINE BEING COLOR BLIND

it looks like it when it's real small like that

mal♡

IMAGINE BEING COLOR BLIND

CAN'T EVEN BE TALKING

mal♡

IMAGINE BEING COLOR BLIND

IM WAY LESS COLOR BLIND

I get you two confused so much omg I'm sorry

I deleted that instagram account lol

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡

do u even have my discord added

lmao what's your disc I'll message you there

bahahahahahhs

𒀰 روحي إلها 𒀰

Ethan when did you get ungrounded

as soon as you stopped riding his dick

Ethan eli's said a LOT of gay stuff about you

Anonymous

as soon as you stopped riding his dick

dont judge when you do the same

Anonymous
Image

This is unedited

Eli Nguyen is a raging homosexual

yall are twinning then.

I DONT WANT TO COME.

NO ONE IS MAKING YOU DO ANYTHING IT'S A FIGURE OF SPEECH

ITS CALLED A JOKE.

SAME AS YOU SAYING YOURE STRAIGHT

ALL JUST SILLY JOKES

"we want to be in your mouth!"

cant believe youre in love with mike and ike

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

ok bye then ig

I am gonna go put some stuff in my mouth though

So I'll be back after dinner :D

See you in a bit lmao <3

lmao okay <3

You've said your name publicly here multiple times

And never gave any semblance of disapproval for it being shared

Alright delete my comment then

Nobody's stopping you from doing that

And maybe say something if you don't want it to be shared

ha yall dont know my last name

Or just don't share it in the first place

mal♡

ha yall dont know my last name

do you even know mine lmao

You never showed any opposition toward it

Anonymous

do you even know mine lmao

its frank

You can't ban me for doing something unknowingly when there was no way for me to know

well you better figure it out smh smh it's gonna be sticking around for a while, silly goose

my last name isnt even on my google account

you've told me enough that I could put forth a pretty good guess 😭

my last name is so lame

im severely lacking in the cool name department

i bet that dog has the coolest name ever

its not that lame

mal♡

im severely lacking in the cool name department

DOUBT ITTTTTTTTT

ive said my first and middle before

I think they're great :D

why ty kind sir

i like my first and middle when theyre paired together

not separately tho

I love them all around, they're very befitting of you :)

made out of my hopes and dreams of being anything besides a kitchen wench

I greatly appreciate your aspiration-sandwich

youre so welcome

thats what i was made for afterall

well ill head back to the kitchen now

make more sandwiches to ensure i dont have anymore hopes and dreams left

I don't want an ounce of individuality left in you!

dont worry itll all be gone by midnight

chop chop I want you empty and mindless by supper

LethalCupcake2

🥦🥦

your bio is so deep lmao

woah my mind is blown

i won’t be a kitchen wench

i’m a cheese philosopher

Btw, I'm playing FH5 so if I don't respond quickly that's why.

mal♡

i’m a cheese philosopher

oh really?

don’t doubt me

10 foot mammoth man

no jake lmao

i legit have no clue it's been forever since I was measured

LethalCupcake2

How tall is Jake?

he’s a 10 foot mammoth man

Anonymous

i legit have no clue it's been forever since I was measured

i bet you’re

Anonymous

i legit have no clue it's been forever since I was measured

my friend measured me a few days ago and i was still 5’2 muahahahaha

jake i bet you’re

bro I'm pretty sure that my brother is gonna try to attend the charlie Kirk funeral

mal♡

4’5

no. that's you

i’m 5’2 cosmo

mal♡

i’m 5’2 cosmo

sure...

ik jake is secretly 4’5

Cosmo idk

bro I'm pretty sure that my brother is gonna try to attend the charlie Kirk funeral

Aw that's nice

dw jake i’ll reach middle the shelves for you

and the countertops

mal♡

dw jake i’ll reach middle the shelves for you

nah. he can reach the bottom shelf for you

i’m taller than 4’5

jake is not.

muahahahahah

i’ll buy you stools with dino’s on them :D

actually i’ll do that even if you’re 10’ cus dino stools are sick

and then i’ll steal them

i’ll need them for the top shelves anyway

so will you since you’re 4’5

you’re dopey from snow white

oh jake ik ik

then you should be able to count that you’re 3’17

it’s simple i can teach you

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡

i know

Thank you for confirming this. The gayness scale just tipped in his direction

Ethan is the gayest one here

Sunny Spadefoot Toad