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Guys, for whatever reason, please do NOT use fly trap paper to wax your asshole!!!

Today, I was trying to search around my house for some waxing paper because my intertwined lengthy asshole hairs created a humid environment to where sweat and fungus was able to be produced. Then, I looked in my father's garage and I was able to find a large sheet of waxing paper (or so I thought).

The waxing paper was yellow for wh… Read more

Scripts.com Bee Movie By Jerry Seinfeld

NARRATOR: (Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard) According to all known laws of aviation, : there is no way a bee should be able to fly. : Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. : The bee, of course, flies anyway : because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. BARRY BENSON: (Barry is picking out a shirt) Yell… Read more

I get it. You hated him 4 years ago and you still do today

I have seen a lot hate and vitriol thrown his way, but the guy is an overachiever and defies the odds.

Perhaps it is jealousy and people can't stand the thought of how much money and success he has.

Yeah, it may be true that he has had his fair share of scandals. He may have told a few lies here and there and twisted the truth to make himself look better. … Read more

so if i wanted to theoretically buy a theoretical vigilante mask that theoretically looked kinda like red hood, and was vey strong with me being able to see perfectly out of it where would i find it? theoretically

My dearest friends and family, after seventeen years I have decided that instead of continuing to suffer in the disgusting place that is called “earth,” I have decided that Hell would suit me better. Yes, I didn’t say heaven, and that is because I have done nothing but sinned my way through life and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for rejecting help. I’m sorry for pushing you all to the sides and obsessing over myself. The only… Read more

THE WJE SHIPPING CHART IS OFFICIALLY UNDER CONSTRUCTION! Use the link to fill out the suggestion form if you have any ideas for who would be a good ship. There is a link to a document with explanations for the quadrants mentioned in the form if you’re unfamiliar with them. Happy Shipping!!!

And as if it weren’t already clear, IT IS COMPLETELY ANONYMOUS! Even I don’t know who’s suggesting what, so feel free to send in your craziest ships of people on WJE!

https://forms.gle/yrLbuypkvu56cTUn7

so I'm a 1ft 2 inch carrot that is 4 inches wide. I was the biggest baddest carrot in the supermarket until one day, a 17 year old boy grabbed me alongside some vaseline. And then, when we got home, he dipped me in that vaseline and... I don't need to say the rest. Anyways I now smell like shit and his mother threw me out the window out of fear. I then got picked up by a trash collecter and he used me as a dildo too.… Read more

madison majewski genuinely what the fuck are u getting out of pretending to be w jake and manipulating other people?

Yall need jesus jesus is good. he dose great he will save you. he will heal you. he wll get rid of depression. he can do the impossible. Hes amazing. A frw months ago i was stealing money i was stealing and hideing electonics i was sneaking out i was lying but just tody i got baptized, god changed me. i stopped self harm i stopped lying i stopped cheating. all my bad went away. all because of him, God is amazing. How… Read more

Alright FOR STARTERS, let me explain and tell everyone the truth here about me and Jake breaking up. I'll confirm what’s fake and what's not, starting with the first rumor. The rumors about me and Jake breaking up are true. We broke up about a month ago, due to personal reasons that were going on with Jake and slowly drifting apart. The reason I didn't tell anyone about me and him not being together anymore, was be… Read more

well shit, I ain't gonna kms (seriously), but I don't know what to do with myself anymore I barely have any good irl friends anymore I might get pulled out of my school I'm scared of losing the friends I have I'm lying to my parents and destroyed their trust in me I'm angering so many of the people that I care about here I feel like I'm losing people left and right I want to make everyone around me happy, but I keep forgetting myself. My mental health is going horribly Just fuck it idk anymore I'm just so scared of the way people are attacking me. fuck fuck fuck fuck anyway see yall

HELLO MY CHILDREN

IT IS I, BLACH Remember to recruit, there are future followers everywhere. Get them to talk to me, so be baptised and reborn into out world.

Dear @matt Incase you have not noticed I recently started a very narcissistic dictatororal cult called Blach Man Cult. To join you must contact me and I'll gove you pfp to use.

But I've went out of my way to make you one before you even ask.

So here you go, my child. It's in the comments and I'd love to see it in action soon.

Love, Your lord and saviour