Bungee Cord jokes

Tried to kill myself today using a bungee cord, I kept ALMOST dying.

Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?

A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.

How do you make a suicidal guy go bungee jumping?

Tie the bungee cord around his neck.

A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.

I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.

When you're going 80 mph and hit a speed bump,

Then the speed bump starts screaming.

I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.

It's called "spastics on elastics."