Both jokes

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.

What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?

They both came in a little behind.