Arsonisfun jokes

I hate these double standards.

If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

I googled "How to start a wildfire." I got 48,500 matches.

Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT! GET OUT!"

Priest: "Ok, what about the children?"

Father: "FUCK THE CHILDREN!"

Priest: "Do you think we'll have time?"

Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her, and told her never to play with matches again.

A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire, and the house burned down.

Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors', her mother told her: "If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home!"

Little Natalie just cackled with delight because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.