And jokes
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Why did the guy take a bath? Because he came, and it was too much of a mess.
I am a George Formby fan, and I love football. My favourite manager was Arsène Wenger. My favourite referee was Collina. My favourite player was Dean Windas. So my favourite George Formby song was "Wenger, Collina, Windas."
I had a glass of Schweppes lemonade in one hand and a glass of R. Whites in the other. I got into a hot sweat. I think I have Corona Virus.
I went to an orphanage and had a yo mama smack down. That's it.
What's the difference between a human and a tree?
A human can chop down a tree.
A tree can't chop down a human.
What's the difference between a fly and a bird?
A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird.
What's big, round, and can't move?
A vegetable!
What is the difference between a human being and a tree?
A human can walk and a tree cannot walk.
What has no legs and a human body?
A human with no legs.
What does the right eye say to the left eye?
Between you and me, something smells!
What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and my kid?
I only stuff the turkey.
Write 317537 on your calculator and turn it over to spell "Leslie."
What's black, white, and red all over?
Lossvagus school shooting.
A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down in the waiting room. When it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, "Well, I have good news and bad news." The woman says, "I'll hear the good news first please." The doctor replies, "The good news is we're naming a disease after you!"
What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?
They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”
What time is it when you walk walk? Time to trip and fall!
What has 4 wheels and can fly? A garbage truck.
What's the difference between Jesus and a dead, naked baby?
I don't worship Jesus.
An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas.
"I don't understand it, Doc," she said, "I have this terrible, terrible gas." "Thankfully," she added, "they are at least silent when I fart."
Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him.
The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. "I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!", she yelled.
The doctor said, "well, now that we've solved your hearing problem, let's see what we can do about that gas".