And jokes
What is long, brown, and cures depression?
A noose.
What's the difference between a mole and a priest?
One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.
The first time I EVER HAD SEX I WAS ALL ALONE. You know why?
IT WAS DARK and I WAS ALL ALONE!
I raped your mom. I flipped her upside down and called the position "wow."
My diet consists of Blood Pudding, I love it and have it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, my secret ingredient though?
It consists of the blood and insides of my victims, it’s a bit chunky sometimes, some bits chewy, some bits hard, but it’s a hearty meal.
How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <:
What's long, yellow, and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What is the difference between an egg and you? An egg gets laid, and you don't.
How do you communicate to the dead?
Jump up and down on the ground and speak in Morse code!
What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?
I cry when I chop up onions.
What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?
Baby in a blender.
A man books a session to see a therapist, as he claims he has a strong fear of the 15th, 9th and 3rd letters of the alphabet. So once the therapist, let's call him Frank, has jotted that down on his notebook, he says, "Oh, I see."
Hi, I did not text back to text her and dad, now I’m texting her. Now I’m.
Me in my dream: What a good day! *rumble* Ooh! What was that?
I wake up and I find myself on the floor.
I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;
What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧
What is the definition of Endless Love?
Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis!
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
What is big, yellow, and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.
A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.