All jokes
All terrorists like starting a new year off with a bang.
They all call it self-baptism. I call it failed suicide.
My sister told me a joke.
All she said was "my life."
All those people claiming Donald Trump is like Hitler need a reality check.
After all, it's not like Donald Trump could write a book.
What did the titanic say as it was sinking?
I nominate all the passengers to the ice bucket challenge.
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."
The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"
The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."
I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth. It's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet.
1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.
"Hitler wasn't such a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler."
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it's white and all over their land.
Imagine this scenario: A doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses, diseases, etc. in the world but cooler like this: "Bumbumbum you have depression, diarrhea, and cancer,... etc."
And then the last one on the list is that he is deaf, and then the doctor shows the patient the list.
Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.
What's with all the orphan jokes? Kinda sus. #fbi
What's brown and white with red all over?
Terrorists when they went into the Twin Towers.
All you pro-life Christian motherfuckers can go die, lol.
Abortion is beautiful. I wish we could all be aborted.
My mom telling me the brief history of the blanket and how she received it from her cousin. ( ╹▽╹ )
Me sitting anxiously in place pretending to be amazed by the story, and reacting with kind cheerfulness and a big smile. (◍•ᴗ•◍)
All I can actually think about: "I m@sturbated under it- aaaaaah" ಠ◡ಠ