How does Hellen Keller meet men? She goes on blind dates.
Shower thoughts
How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.
What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people? A mass murderer.
A blonde, a brunette, and redhead are all in the 9th Grade. Which one is the sexiest? The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? You pull the pin and throw it back!
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
What do you call a stoned kid with down syndrome
A baked potato
What do you call a religious drug addict? A crystal methodist.
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child
Whats the difference between a rooster and a prostitute? The rooster says.. cock a doodle doo The prostitute says.. any cock will do
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill two and half men.
What do you call a religious drug addict? A crystal methodist.
What’s the difference between depression and your ex? Depression fucks you harder
Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school. “Dad I got an F in Geography class!” “Why is that?” “The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building’” Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite poker hand? Jacks and 5.
What pronouns would Michael Jackson have used as a Gender Identifier? “He/he.”
Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white? Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.
What’s the only plus for someone who burns to death? They get a discount at the crematorium