My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.
Shower thoughts
What’s better than winning gold at the Paralympics? Walking.
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa? A water gun
What do you call a blowjob in Africa? Breakfast
What do you call a fat chick with a rape whistle? Optimistic
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood His hand Caught on fire
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
A field of cotton waiting to be picked.
What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"
What’s the difference between a Black man and a Jew?
One was born burnt.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house looks like.
What is the difference between white people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?
His little brother with the console.
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
What’s worse than running with scissors?
Scissoring with the runs!
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.