Shower thoughts

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If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard the gunshots, he would’ve probably thought it was the ice cream truck

My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday, guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch

I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead, I scratched it off and won a fucking ford focus!

My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you. She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.