How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?
Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.
Shower thoughts
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.
She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
Where does a black Eskimo live?
In a Nigglu.
My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
How are Asians like a box of chocolates? Either way they’ll kill your dog
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.
Sparkling water was invented by Germans. Who else would add gas?
Why do Black people not like country music?
Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.
What is the worst part about siblings having sex?
Being left out.
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
If Kamala Harris is Indian, why doesn’t she have that dot on her head?
So she claims to be.
And the only black color I know is when you shut off the lights.
What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.
Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.
So I sold them.
I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
There are 4 billion women on earth. Why isn't it clean yet?
Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.