Shower thoughts

My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.

What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?

Monkeypox.

I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.

Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?

What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?

Call them retarded.

I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?

Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.

My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.

She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.

Where does a black Eskimo live?

In a Nigglu.

What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?

I’d hit that.

My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.

Sparkling water was invented by Germans. Who else would add gas?

Why do Black people not like country music?

Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.

What is the worst part about siblings having sex?

Being left out.

I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.

I guess you can say she had me in a trans.

What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.

Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.

Where do babies get baptized?

So the priest can wash their sex toys.

Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.

So I sold them.

I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.