What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Sad Sad Sarah
In twilight hues, my heart doth break,
A sorrow deep, a pain that makes me quake.
My love, oh how it did depart,
Leaving naught but shattered pieces of my heart.
The memories we shared, now tainted with despair,
Echoes of joy, now filled with tears.
The touch of thy hand, now just a distant dream,
A longing so strong, yet impossible to gleam.
Thy lips, once sweet, now bitter taste,
A cruel fate, our love so hastily laid waste.
The words we spoke, now empty air,
Our hearts, once one, now torn apart and bare.
In vain I wait for thee to return
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD? A trip without kids.
What do boobs and toys have in common? They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.
. How is sex like a game of bridge? If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first doctor”.
The doctor replies, “We’ll, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair”.
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news”. The doctor replies, “He’s dead”.
20. Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
Last week a girl asked me for sex. I had to disappoint her... so I said yes.
Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
What’s a zebra? A few sizes bigger than an A.
I’m not a hard drinker. I actually find it pretty easy.
Where did Noah keep his bees? In the Ark Hives.