Shower thoughts

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Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?

You keep the tradition of hitting black things.

My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.

When cops say you have the right to remain silent,

You're just happy you have the right to do something.

My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."