GG Miller

Patient: "Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." Doctor: "Next time, take off the candles."

I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible." "Well, tell him I can't see him right now."

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

(First Person) :Knock Knock, Who there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, Knock Knock, who there, time to make a move, slayin all then demons and we gotta move in too. (Second Person): Knock Knock, (1st p): who there, let me talk to you, be careful where you stepin out cause you aint bullet proof, Knock Knock, who there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didnt come to hoop.

Roses are Red Violets are blue I thought shrek was ugly, until I saw you

Every time someone calls me fat I get so depress I cut myself... a piece of cake.

You have two parts of brain, 'left' and 'right'. In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.

I might slide up to your block with intelligence I'm a genius with a glock There's some relevance Took his chain, took his rocks Took his sediments There's no cap inside my speech No impediments Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared Why didn't he buss it back?

You so ugly, you made Hello Kitty say Goodbye

I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out

When your friends talking about sports: Jake says " It was 17.56M people watching in basketball championship"🦁

Sam says " It was 113M People watching the Super Bowl" 😯🐱

Avion says "It was up from 1.12 billion people watching World Cup 😶🙀