What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.
GG Miller
If you're that depressed, reach out to someone. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution.
Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory?
Unfortunately, many soles were lost.
How do you hire a horse? Easy. Just put up a ladder.
Two twins were talking in class. I threw a paper airplane at one of them.
My dad was a great pilot...
He died in 9/11.
"What did one wall say to the other?"
"I'll meet you at the corner!"
"How does the moon cut his hair?" "Eclipse it.
Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.
Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.
Yo mama is so ugly, she made dirt look like a supermodel.
Yo mama so ugly even bullets refuse to kill her.
Yo mamma is so ugly, even Ripley wouldn't believe it.
Yo mama so ugly, she's only allowed to go out on October 31.
Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Yo mama's so ugly, she could make an onion cry.
Yo momma is so ugly even the trash man wouldn't pick her up.
Where do you learn to make a banana split?" "Sundae school."
Yo mama so ugly, just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it."
"Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera."