Did you hear about the roofer who went to the doctor? He had shingles.
GG Miller
If you're that depressed, reach out to someone. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution.
How do you hire a horse? Easy. Just put up a ladder.
Why shouldn't you trust trees? Because they seem shady.
Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.
What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A sturgeon!
What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.
Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory?
Unfortunately, many soles were lost.
How do you hire a horse? Easy. Just put up a ladder.
Two twins were talking in class. I threw a paper airplane at one of them.
My dad was a great pilot...
He died in 9/11.
"What did one wall say to the other?"
"I'll meet you at the corner!"
"How does the moon cut his hair?" "Eclipse it.
Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.
Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.
Yo mama is so ugly, she made dirt look like a supermodel.
Yo mama so ugly even bullets refuse to kill her.
Yo mamma is so ugly, even Ripley wouldn't believe it.
Yo mama so ugly, she's only allowed to go out on October 31.
Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.