Today, I asked my phone “Siri, why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera.
GG Miller
This is the Polo Gang..
Just posting corny dad jokes.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
"I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now."
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.
Patient: Oh doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation. Doctor: Don’t worry. Mine too.
Every time someone calls me fat I get so depress I cut myself... a piece of cake.
yo mama's so stupid when they said "order in the court' She asked for burgers and fries
Yo mama so dumb, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone
If 2 vegans are arguing is it still considered beef?
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies. They’re always so twisted.
Not all roses are red not all violets are blue if you're reading this God loves you
You so ugly, you made Hello Kitty say Goodbye
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."
What did the blind, deaf, mentally handicapped orphan get for Christmas? Cancer
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no-body to go with.
What’s the different between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
ROSES ARE RED VIOLET'S ARE BLUE YOU A DUM *SS B*TCH WE ALL KNOW ITS TRUE
Time waits for no man, time is obviously a woman.
How did the digital clock show off to its mother? Look, Ma, no hands!