What is the difference between Iron man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
Centrebro
Dark Jk 4 EVER
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school? Because he’s dead.
I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry
What did the Titanic say as it sank? I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!
I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.